Personal Stories

Anonymous, Age 16, Bisexual

I come from an all conservative family, with the exception of my father and I. Growing up, I never knew about their thoughts and beliefs on anything political or taboo. But once I hit puberty, everything was exposed to me all at once. I found out my grandfather is a homophobe and racist, and my cousin was a priest-to-be who practiced spreading his beliefs by slandering homosexuals on Facebook. The rest of the family weren’t much better, excluding my dad, who turns out to be a pro-gay liberal. The worst was my mother, who, although isn’t as extreme as my grandfather, was quite close to me during my childhood, and now I’m kind of distant to her because she doesn’t think I’m worth the simplest of human rights, and she’s left with no explanation to why I don’t confide in her anymore. But going back to hitting puberty, I slowly discovered I was bisexual. It wasn’t a good time in my life at all. I had to deal with kids making fun of me for being fat, having no friends to confide in and being scared of the possibility of being gay. I was often worried about it, but I had no way of talking to someone. I didn’t trust anyone, though I was in a little bit of a denial stage of homosexuality, so I probably wouldn’t have talked to a counsellor if I did trust them. So I was alone. Alone in my struggles, alone in my conscience.

By the time I got into high school, everything changed. I wasn’t a popular kid, but I wasn’t being made fun of, and I finally trusted people. This I guess helped me get to a comfortable spot in my life so I could identify my sexuality. I just decided I would be brave and accept what I am, and what I am is bisexual. So, two years later, here I am, a socially awkward student who came out to all his friends, and has now decided to come out to everyone. I won’t just tell everyone I meet and constantly say “I’m BI” out in public, but I will come out, casually. I decided to come out because I realized that I don’t want to lie about myself anymore, and also because I know I’m not alone. I used to think I was alone and going to turn into some fag that everyone would hate and make fun of, but I grew up and opened my eyes to the truth. I came from being suicidal about my sexuality, to preparing to be exposed to the people around me. To any kid who was like me as a young teenager who was afraid of being gay, I want to say don’t be afraid, you’re not alone. I was there, and you’ll be where I am now; happy.