Personal Stories

Brandan Dietrich, Age 16, Gay

I still remember it as if it were yesterday, well that is how a typical story starts. This is no story!!! It’s my life. It all started when I was in grade 5. I was at a Christian School which was really difficult for me. But in Grade 6 I was looking at my one friend at the time who was a boy, and saying WOW he is really cu……… wait was I just going to say CUTE. HOW DARE I!!!!! That is what I was always taught and told. YOU CANT BE GAY!!!!! This is how I lived my life, I was walking the life of denial for myself. After a while he and I experienced with some things and we both thought NO NO NO.

After a while we got in trouble and I was just finishing grade 8, I got in HUGE trouble with my parents and then it came out YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SORRY IF I’M GAY…… talk about just wanting to pull those words right back. I can’t believe I just said that. My dad went furious, and my mom started crying. WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY…. YOU’RE WHAT!!!! That’s all I remember YOU’RE WHAT. This was the hardest time for me but I knew that I could not live in denial any more, it was hurting way too much. Time and time again the amount of times I heard that line YOU’RE WHAT. Every time I tried to attempt suicide because I thought no one loved me, and that I was just “a walking sin” as I was told by my parents and the church. At this point I didn’t have counselling, no support, no OK2BME, no nothing just me and now two FURIOUS parents. I never thought that I would be able to make it through so I did it, I attempted one last time with the intention to die.

I couldn’t stand the heartache anymore that I was getting from my parents, and “with no one to love me or support me I am not meant to live, there is nothing to life” it was so hard. Three minutes longer and I would not be here writing this story. The doctors did save me, after that Family and Children Services got involved. They said “He can’t go home after this time, he was too close”. Ever since I have been with Family and Children Services I appreciate their services greatly. I am happily living a gay open life in Kitchener-Waterloo, as a High school teen my high-school career has been great, WCI (Waterloo Collegiate Institute is incredible for GSA support and I appreciate it). I love my life now.

One word if you feel that you are LGBTQ but not sure, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COME TO OK2BME to get your questions answered, I don’t want anyone to have to go through what I had to, it’s not pretty, it’s not easy, but I felt it was necessary for my life to continue, and now I’m so happy that I blurted out those words almost two years ago!!!!